back after a long break, today was the last day of ah ma's funeral wake, feeling really depressed 4 wad had happened, was in the hospital from e 28 dec '04 to 5 jan '05 when she was warded to tts hositpal, poor ah ma suffered e same fate with da yi, fall and knock against the head and die after a week.

She was still telling mother tt we must go her hse for dinner during new year's eve... but now... :'( Now i'm still sturrling w e fact tt ah ma is not ard anymore, cant believe she ust left like tt... Now wad is left is all memory of her in my head, e way hw she brought me up, the way hw she care 4 me when i was young... i still remember...

even though i cant do much at e funeral wake cos i am a christian, all i could do e least for today was to sent her off for her last journey. Tears just flow as i know i'll nv see her again,(i keep praying: "Lord take ah ma's spirit in ur hand" even though i dun know if she accpected Jesus as her Lord at e last moment, only God knows...)At the cremation, i saw w my own eyes hw she was cremate... and i broke down in tears like no one biz so does every1, but 1 thg i dun understand, y let ah ma be cremate rather tt buried? i thk buried is much better at least she wouldnt go through so much pain on her last journey right?

Through ah ma's depart, i did learnt a lot on hw to appreaicate my mother when she is ard, hw to listen to the voice of Holy Spirit when facing e darkest period of life....

TO MY BELOVED AH MA - I really feel like telling u "ah ma, i really enjoy holding ur hands when ur still in e hospital but i dunnoe my hokkien well" instead i keep telling u Jesus loves You, "Ah ma, even though u r nt ard now, i still wan to let u know tt Jesus still loves u more tt any of ur children. Ah Ma dun worry abt ur children, they r all gorwn up, they know wad is right n wrong, dun worry anymore ah ma..." Go in peace. Sorry ah ma, i cannot do much at ur wake but expect to give u into the Lord's hand...

U're always be remebered as my beloved grandma.